Isn't it funny how we jinx ourselves? OK we don't actually jinx ourselves but we fear jinxing ourselves. I still have a faint feeling I could be pregnant this month and yet when a friend asked me about it I almost felt like I shouldn't talk about it or I could jinx myself into not being pregnant. Now I know just as well as the next person that rather I talk about being pregnant or not, I can not jinx either way. It just doesn't work that way. I notice too, reading fellow IF blogs about women who are now in their first trimester and because of loss or just general fear, they too feel like they will jinx their pregnancy if they talk about it or get to excited. I think its something many of us IF'ers have in common. Superstitions. Sure maybe not the "black cat crossing your path" kind of superstition but the kind that make us believe things we say will affect our pregnancy or ability to get pregnant. We all know its silly, yet we do it anyways. It makes me sad that I can't just enjoy the journey. I can't just focus on this time in my life and appreciate it without being obsessed about having a baby. And I know when we do get pregnant I will worry then too, instead of seizing the day and enjoying thinking about the new life growing inside of me, I will feel fear about jinxing myself. So I'm going to do my best to relax today. I'm going to talk about how I feel and enjoy the thought that I might be pregnant and no matter what I say or don't say God knows exactly whats going on and what He is doing.
Carpe Diem!
1 comment:
Thanks for the comment, I really enjoyed reading it. the book is called "moments for couples who long for Children" There are 77 moments in total. I tink its supposed to be read like a devotional, however sometimes I will read a few each day, some days I will only read one, or go back and reread some. Its a great book so far! Its starts off each moment with a verse and than the devotional and than a prayer at the end.
I'm not dealing with IF, however I know some months I will try and not be too hopefully because I fear that when I am and when I get really excited I always end up in disappointment. Hopefully this is your month!
Post a Comment