Getting played like a fiddle

...or starting to at least.

This post is very humbling for me to write. I always know I am not the perfect parent nor will I ever claim to be but its hard for me to admit a specific area of parenting that I am in fact not really good at so don't judge when I tell you that my two and a half year old has been playing me like a fiddle lately.

My heart for my children is so big and so full of love and sometimes that love can turn into misunderstanding in my own mind and thus allow specifically my two and a half year old to get away with things that she shouldn't, why because I love her...BUT I do know that love means saying no and setting boundaries. Sometimes its a mixture of her crying thats breaks my heart enough to give in and sometimes its simply that I don't want to listen to the whining but either way I've figured out very much so this week that I am getting played and the game is over.

Several different examples of the top of  my head

Winni will not eat anything lately then she will ask for lollipops or marshmallows or cookies and even though I should just say no, I usually give in and give her one to which she asks for 2 and then cries when I won't give her 3, 4, or 5.

When I offer Winni lunch or dinner she will often say  " No thanks I'm full" even though I know that she hasn't eaten all day but then 20 minutes later she'll be asking for a cookie or something and I usually give it to her because I know she is hungry but obviously thats not the right thing either.

Winni has also turned into this silly silly little girl! She will dance and prance around and twirl and swirl and be adorable but many times she will do such things when I am asking her to do something else. Pick up her toys for example, put her shoes on so we can leave, or many times she will crawl in the car and mess around instead of just  getting in her seat like I am asking. I don't view most of this as outright being disobedient because she is just being silly BUT lately I see that regardless of if she is being silly and cute she is disobeying me by not doing what I am asking of her.

Everytime I even mention the world nap or bed now she tells me " Soon" or " one more Wubzy" to which I really don't see the harm so I give her 5 more minutes or one more Wubzy.

And before you start scolding me,  I understand my faults here and that is why things are changing!

The biggest thing is I truly do NOT want to raise a brat. I do not want to be that parent other parents dread coming over for a playdate. I don't want to be the one that when I leave a room people talk about me and my children in a negative way because of my children's behavior. Not only do I not want to be that parent but I simply won't allow it.

I know I have to get a hold of things now before it really is too late!

I am a pretty laid back mom in general so I do let a lot slide. To me if Winni isn't hurting, bothering or inconveniencing anyone it doesn't really bother me. I do understand she is young and exploring the world around her so I give her a lot of rope. I also believe in giving her chances to follow the rules and do the right thing.

 For example we have a bag of little rubberbands for her hair and she loves to play with the little bands in the bag. Generally if she dumps them out and plays with them it doesn't really bother me to spend an extra 30 seconds helping pick them up but eventually it was just becoming to much of a mess as she spread them all over so I explained to her that we would no longer be dumping rubber bands all over the place. The next time she wanted to hold the bag while I did her hair I told her she could hold the bag for Mama but she could not dump out the rubber bands. Now I know many people think "well just don't give her the bag" but really I want her to have the bag and have the chance to obey and listen to me. This could be wrong but I like to give her my trust until she breaks it. Well about 15 minutes later she eventually dumped the bag out to which I quickly made her pick them up and took the bag away and sat her in timeout ( see I'm not all softy :)  

So today I am turning the page. I love my little girl ( and boy of course ) enough to know that she needs to hear the word no and she needs to learn to listen and know that if she doesn't there will be consequences. After all that is the reality of life. We don't get what we want, when we want , nor how we want  all the time and it is in those moments that our character is tested and builded and I know that I want to raise amazing incredibly God fearing, law obeying, children and that starts right here, right now.

Ok so I've totally laid it out there to be judged and I'm ok with that. I know I am doing my best and will continue to and make adjustments when and where need be and pray that one day the ONLY ONE WHO MATTERS will tell me " Well done my good and faithful servant, now come enjoy my kingdom for eternity"