I can say we have made it almost 9 months.
9 months of fairly easy going life with 2 children.
9 months of love and smoochies and helpfulness and for the most part smooth sailing
But I see all this coming to an end as the green eyed monster ( in the form of my sweet 2 year old) has entered.
For the past 8 and a half months we have been so fortunate to deal with minimal jealousy on Winni's part with Tyson. She has truly been so amazing with him. Sure sometimes her hugs may be a little too rough but I haven't really seen her be jealous towards Tyson at all.
But within the last few days I have def seen the change in her and the jealousy setting in.
It started with her just being a little more aggressive towards him, then acting out more when she wasn't getting my full attention. Then all of a sudden it was not wanting Tyson to come with us or wanting him to stay wherever we were. Yesterday I had a fun little paint project for her and she said " Just for Winni and not for Tyson"
She is desperatley calling out for our attention and doing whatever she can to get it.
We are a busy family. I try to eliminate the boredom so we get out alot we go to parks do our errands toegther and stay really busy most of the day but its like the second we aren't doing something she is immediatley bored and acting up.
I know some of the obvious advice coming but trust me I've tried it. Winni gets a great amount of alone time at night for about 2 hours after Tyson goes to bed and she is still awake. I also try to really interact and be with her while Tyson takes him morning nap. I'm not the best "crafty" mom by any means but I am working on it and trying to have more at home things for her to do and that we can do together. As Tyson gets bigger I encourage us all playing things together but I think a huge majority of it is simply the age we are at and the age we are approaching. Winni and I have even had over night getaways together just the 2 of us so her getting plenty of one on one time isn't really the issue.
She is just over two and a half and all my friends have told me that 3 is actually worse than 2. Honestly as I said so far 2 hasn't been an issue and in fact its been quite wonderful. Sure she test me but she is so funny and sweet and keeps me laughing all day.
And its really funny because I sit and analyze like crazy " Is she acting up because she has a little brother?" " Should we have waited longer for another adoption?" " Is it because she's getting molars?" or " Is this all just because of her age?"
And this morning I went online to do my morning blog check and I read about 6 other blogs who were blogging close to this same thing. Then I went to Target and watched 2 different families struggling with temper tantrums and sassiness and I realized WE ARE NORMAL!
If you know me in real life you know I am super hard on myself as a mom. I always want to be it all and do it all perfectly all the time. The funny part is I am so far from it! I literally do the yoga pants ponytail look 5 out of 7 days of the week! I don't cook near enough for my husband and my house is so far from perfection its not even funny. But when it comes to my kids I strive for perfection in my parenting. Impossible I know but and those are my own issues I am dealing with.
I have this strange thing my kids need to be happy and smiling all the time and if they aren't I'm doing something wrong. I have this thing that my kids should never act out because I try my best to parent and discipline them appropraitely. I play with them, I ineteract with them, I love them like crazy so why are they acting out. If your reading this and you are a parent of a toddler you know how crazy this all is. They are doing it because they are normal!
I say this but don't quite believe it myself yet hence all the stress I feel when they aren't " perfect"
So if your struggling today, have a messy house, no dinner currently in the oven, screaming children let me assure you...you are not alone. There is a mama out here in California just like you. Barely staying a float some days and down right drowning on others.. Doing the best I can even when it doesn't seem to be making a difference. Hoping and praying I'm not seriously messing my children up and that somehow by the grace of God they will grow up to be amazing world changing people who love the Lord.
Hang in there...you are not alone and neither am I.
And its really funny because I sit and analyze like crazy " Is she acting up because she has a little brother?" " Should we have waited longer for another adoption?" " Is it because she's getting molars?" or " Is this all just because of her age?"
And this morning I went online to do my morning blog check and I read about 6 other blogs who were blogging close to this same thing. Then I went to Target and watched 2 different families struggling with temper tantrums and sassiness and I realized WE ARE NORMAL!
If you know me in real life you know I am super hard on myself as a mom. I always want to be it all and do it all perfectly all the time. The funny part is I am so far from it! I literally do the yoga pants ponytail look 5 out of 7 days of the week! I don't cook near enough for my husband and my house is so far from perfection its not even funny. But when it comes to my kids I strive for perfection in my parenting. Impossible I know but and those are my own issues I am dealing with.
I have this strange thing my kids need to be happy and smiling all the time and if they aren't I'm doing something wrong. I have this thing that my kids should never act out because I try my best to parent and discipline them appropraitely. I play with them, I ineteract with them, I love them like crazy so why are they acting out. If your reading this and you are a parent of a toddler you know how crazy this all is. They are doing it because they are normal!
I say this but don't quite believe it myself yet hence all the stress I feel when they aren't " perfect"
So if your struggling today, have a messy house, no dinner currently in the oven, screaming children let me assure you...you are not alone. There is a mama out here in California just like you. Barely staying a float some days and down right drowning on others.. Doing the best I can even when it doesn't seem to be making a difference. Hoping and praying I'm not seriously messing my children up and that somehow by the grace of God they will grow up to be amazing world changing people who love the Lord.
Hang in there...you are not alone and neither am I.
3 comments:
Oh yes, I have many days when I feel like I am drowning! You are right - she is behaving the way she should developmentally. She is lucky to have you . A lot of parents don't realize that it is part of a toddler's JOB to be defiant, have big emotions they can't control, push boundaries, etc. It is how they learn! And, as a therapist for young children, I will agree with your friend - most parents I have worked with have had more issues with their kids at 3 years old. It's a tough age. Hang in there! You are definitely not alone!
You're doing great!
Children need to learn what to do when not being led by an adult. And more impoartantly, children need to learn what is acceptable and unacceptable when they feel upset.
Of all days, I needed to hear/read this. I have an almost 2 year old and a 6 week old. My 2 year old is going through the same as Winni. I feel horrible...like she's not getting ALL my attention like she used to...but I know she's OK. Things change.
You are a great mom. Remember that. I always have to tell myself...when the dishes aren't done...the laundry hasn't made it into the washer...to choose joy & remember all that stuff will be there in years to come while they, who are growing by the minute, won't be babies anymore.
Have a fantastic day my friend! Know I'm thinking of my fellow Mom!
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