Do you ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is " I'm still not pregnant?" I swear that's how I have felt every single freaking day this week. I wake up and realize that I am still not pregnant. Not only am I not pregnant I'm infertile. Incapable of becoming pregnant on my own. And that sucks even more than knowing that I'm not pregnant. It's a thought that I can't get out of my mind, as much as I may try, my mind is never far from the harsh reality of infertility. I often think that if we had gotten pregnant in June or July like we had planned before discovering I had PCOS I would be close to giving birth. Had we gotten pregnant even earlier like January or February I would be holding our little miracle in my arms right now instead of blogging about my inability to conceive. But this is my life now. I don't have the baby I thought I would have at this point in my life and sometimes it seems like the days of having children of my own are so far from me. I know I know, get over it , it will happen, blah blah blah... I love to think of the morning I wake up and pee on the stick I so often dread and before my eyes will appear the miracle of not one line, but two lines and for the next 9 months I can wake up and say to myself " I am pregnant!"
On a completely personal note I got back to the Doctor tomorrow to check my follies. I have been on the Menopur for 3 days now ( after having done clomid for 5 days) and if tomorrow goes well, and it better or I just might lose my mind, we will trigger shot and have the IUI on Sunday or Monday! I'll be back tomorrow to let everyone know how it goes!
By the way! I am so incredibly grateful for all my new IF friends and fellow bloggers whose comments touch my heart in ways you can't even imagine!
1 comment:
Remember. . . it is not about what you can or can not do- it's about what HE can do. Let go and let God!
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