I hate when I am feeling sad. Yesterday I was so sad all day. I completely let the devil steal my joy. As much as I conciously tried to be happy I couldn't. I thought maybe it was some stress about school, or even my inability to find a job, but I know deep down my heart was sad that I wasn't spending the holiday with my baby. The baby my heart yearns for so much that it hurts. My whole day was ruined by someone who doesn't exist. The worst part is I know its my fault. I allowed my day to be miserable and allowed my joy to be compromised. Today is a little better. I'm feeling a tad bit more motivated and hopeful for my appointment tomorrow. But I guess I just wanted to blog out some of my feelings about feeling empty. I described it to my husband as a puzzle. We are a beautiful puzzle together but sometimes it just feels like we are missing the most important part and the worst part is there is nothing I can do about it. Although in theory I guess thats the best part too. That God is in control of it. Now I just need to stop worrying and let Him be boss.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
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4 comments:
Everyone has their bad days and it is ok to feel sad. I hope you feel better.
As Michelle said, we do all have our hard days but that's what we're here for and what your blog is for. Hang in there. You will get your baby. Keep dreaming of your baby and stay positive. It will happen! KMP on your aptmt tomorrow. Wishing you the best!
Kitty
I think it is the sadness and the "down" days that are there to remind us to turn over the journey to God. Its easy to forget that he is in control but his plan for you is greater than you'll ever know. Hang in there!
It's very easy to get wrapped up in the sadness of not having our dreams come true when we'd like them to. And it's okay to be sad and to cry out to God for comfort and hope. God will answer your prayers in His timing. Until then I pray your heart is full of hope and excitement for where the Lord is leading you!!!
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