Yes three. Not one, not two, but THREE pregnant women. Since yesterday I have found out that three women I know are pregnant. THREE! That isn't one baby, or even two babies, ITS THREE BABIES!!!! Yesterday I found out about one and today the other two came. I am happy for these women, really I am. One is a sweet former co-worker of mine who has been trying for several months with her hubby and they are happily five weeks along. Another is my wonderful family member ( yes I am trying to be vague on purpose) who I also couldn't be more happy for. Her and her hubby had decided til a little later in life to start having a family so her pregnancy is a beautiful thing. The other girl is a whole other story in which I'm not willing to write about for the simple fact I don't know who all reads this blog including people she may know so we'll leave it at that.
So I originally came online tonight to vent about how incredibly angry, sad, and jealous I am. angry that three more women, one of which is not me, are pregnant. Sad that this is most likely our last chance for a 2009 baby. And jealous that they will able to experience the joy of holding their infant in their arms before me. I could literally write a book right now about how much my heart is breaking inside and how there are tears flowing down my cheeks as I write this. But as I came online I remembered our church sermon this morning about letting people see Jesus through us and our actions. We don't have to go around yelling " I believe in God" but instead if we just live the life God has asked of us, people will see HIS light in us!
14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.- Matthew 5:14-16
So I come online to write about being grateful. Grateful that my God is so big, not only can HE move mountains and part the seas, but HE can spend time working on little old me. I know the only reason I am not pulling my hair out with all this baby news is because the JOY of the LORD is my STRENGTH! God is working in me and on me, to every day make me more like HIM. And while I will never come close I want to know that every day I have done my best to be the best person that I can be. And today is no different. Just because more women in my life are pregnant doesn't give me the right to throw everything God has taught me out the window. Trust me, it's not easy and sometimes I want to. I just want to throw out what patience I have left, toss out the hope that I have, and stomp on the joy. But I won't do it. My happiness may be taken away by circumstances, but my joy ... never.
5 For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.-Psalm 30:5
I encourage you to do the same! We all have the feelings of sadness, jealousy, and lost hope. Especially when we hear of our 16 year old neighbor who is pregnant after having sex just one time. Or when our friends, after only 2 months of trying, proudly announce they are pregnant. We're allowed to feel those emotions but I just urge you instead of turning to anger, turn to God. For it is only with HIM that we can make it through all this!
**Insert deep sigh of relief** OK I feel much better now! And I hope you do too!
I just want to say that I am in no way judging any one who has openly spoke of their anger or jealousy! I have too! I just feel the Lord compelling me to write this post.
So I originally came online tonight to vent about how incredibly angry, sad, and jealous I am. angry that three more women, one of which is not me, are pregnant. Sad that this is most likely our last chance for a 2009 baby. And jealous that they will able to experience the joy of holding their infant in their arms before me. I could literally write a book right now about how much my heart is breaking inside and how there are tears flowing down my cheeks as I write this. But as I came online I remembered our church sermon this morning about letting people see Jesus through us and our actions. We don't have to go around yelling " I believe in God" but instead if we just live the life God has asked of us, people will see HIS light in us!
14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.- Matthew 5:14-16
So I come online to write about being grateful. Grateful that my God is so big, not only can HE move mountains and part the seas, but HE can spend time working on little old me. I know the only reason I am not pulling my hair out with all this baby news is because the JOY of the LORD is my STRENGTH! God is working in me and on me, to every day make me more like HIM. And while I will never come close I want to know that every day I have done my best to be the best person that I can be. And today is no different. Just because more women in my life are pregnant doesn't give me the right to throw everything God has taught me out the window. Trust me, it's not easy and sometimes I want to. I just want to throw out what patience I have left, toss out the hope that I have, and stomp on the joy. But I won't do it. My happiness may be taken away by circumstances, but my joy ... never.
5 For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.-Psalm 30:5
I encourage you to do the same! We all have the feelings of sadness, jealousy, and lost hope. Especially when we hear of our 16 year old neighbor who is pregnant after having sex just one time. Or when our friends, after only 2 months of trying, proudly announce they are pregnant. We're allowed to feel those emotions but I just urge you instead of turning to anger, turn to God. For it is only with HIM that we can make it through all this!
**Insert deep sigh of relief** OK I feel much better now! And I hope you do too!
I just want to say that I am in no way judging any one who has openly spoke of their anger or jealousy! I have too! I just feel the Lord compelling me to write this post.
7 comments:
that was a very beautiful and inspirational post. Thank you for writing that heather. what a breath of fresh air.
Your post was beautiful and insightful. I think its a good reminder of all of us, thanks for sharing it!
I've felt and dealt with all thso emotions we were going through. They're not easy are they? But like that encouraging and beautiful blog you wrote, we must remember that God is in control...no matter what we think, lol.
Thanks for that post. You're such a lovely girl :)
Nice post H. We shouldn't let those feelings take us over but as you said send our prayers to God. Hang in there. Your time is coming. Stay +! Kitty
I'm sooooo glad you found my blog! I'm very excited to get to know you. I LOVE this post. Thank you soooo much for sharing. (((HUGS)))
Oh, and yes, we do still do the memory quilts. :)
Hi there! I definitely remember you from HS! You were a vball player, yes? Thank you for leaving a comment over at my blog. Your posts are so moving and heartfelt. You are so strong. I cannot wait to read the post you will write when you find out you are expecting! :)
Post a Comment