Can I Just say what a crazy day I am having...not in the typical form of crazy but the internal kind. After spending a couple hours on homework this morning my mind is left to wander. And I keep thinking about how I see no possible way we can afford adoption without going through the system, which we really prefer not to do. I see not one ounce of light upon our financial situation and I worry that adoption has an endless cost depending on so many factors. I think that maybe we are better off with IVF , it's more affordable ( who ever thought I would say that!) it's able to financed and maybe in a twisted way it's where we were suppose to go all along...I honestly have no idea.
Is doing IVF not waiting on the Lord? Or is it what the Lord has planned? Is adoption what were suppose to be doing? If so why is it so unattainable right now? Is doing nothing really doing something?
If you've ever read the book " Oh The Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss you can see that I am waiting.
Waiting for a train to go.
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Is doing IVF not waiting on the Lord? Or is it what the Lord has planned? Is adoption what were suppose to be doing? If so why is it so unattainable right now? Is doing nothing really doing something?
If you've ever read the book " Oh The Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss you can see that I am waiting.
Waiting for a train to go.
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
"Everyone is just waiting."
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
So if I'm on the waiting page...when do I get to turn it?
7 comments:
I always wondered that. Is guiding your way into something going againsts God's will? I don't know but I know that he'll be with you everystep of the way.
Here in Texas, while I know you don't want to go thru the system, they pay for everything in Adoptions from education to meds to health care. Yet I realize finding a baby is hard and the wait is longer.
You're in my prayers!
I am right there with you. What is God's plan for us?? What if I make the wrong choice?? Love ya and am praying for ya!
In my situation I figure while I'm on my journey for a child that God will show his plan to us in one of the following ways ...naturally, medicated, IUI, IVF then finally adoption....that's the order I'm trying things and so I guess we'll see.
I know his plan for me includes a child in some way shape or form because he wouldn't have given me the passion to be a mother if I wasn't meant to be one.
I can't wait to see what he has in store for me and my hubby!
Good luck girly and if you ever need to talk...I'm always here! :0)
I'm right there with you too... I'm a teacher and I've felt like I've been in The Waiting Place for far too long. My thought is that God makes the path you are supposed to take easier to take. If you are not to go that route, it will be more difficult. For me, I feel God has lead us to IVF because, just at the moment we were not sure how to finance it- we found out we could refinance our house for exactly the amount of our IVF- without raising our monthly payment. I hope you get signs that you are on the right path, too.
Maybe that means you are supposed to adopt through the system then.
If you felt so that God has always called you to adopt and are now finding that you cannot afford agency/private adoption, maybe that is where God brought you? When you talked the other day about how many kids need homes, these are just those children. In many states, there are no homes open to babies and many end up being put in emergency places until they can find placement for them.
Here's the other thing that stings...I can't tell you how many people, my sister and SIL included, that forked over money for IVF and did not get pregnant. Or the quandry of what to do with your left over frozen embryos after you have all your children??? So many of my friends are dealing with that decision now.
I am so sorry you are feeling so torn and do not see clearly God's plan for you.
I have struggled with this before, a LOT!
My personal thoughts are this:
I think God wanted you to look at adoption. However if this was the right path for you and if he wanted you to continue down that path wouldnt he make it available to you?? I think God puts up these barriers for us to show us the path he does want us to travel down.
Sorry thats just how I feel. We were looking into adoption and a few barriers came up. I knew that either God doesnt want us to adopt, or he wants us to wait a bit longer.
So funny that we're in similar places today! It's so hard to be "okay" with waiting. Some days everything in you is just screaming "WHEN?!" at God -- but His words are always so comforting. Absolutely feel free to use those Psalms I posted on my blog -- and read all of Psalm 40, but especially verses 1-5, it gives me shivers!
Love you girl -- I'm saying lots of prayers for your comfort and peace as you WAIT!
Psalm 40:1-5
I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.
Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.
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