I am feeling beyond forgotten lately...I have been checking blogs daily but feel like I am Debbie Downer lately or like my life is a Saturday Night Live version of the "Really?" segment during the Weekend Updates... REALLY? Someone else in my life is pregnant? REALLY? My period started and no miracle baby for us this month? REALLY? You got pregnant after 2 months or trying? REALLY? You can afford adoption and a third IVF? REALLY? ( If you don't know what I am talking about watch this clip. It has nothing to do with pregnancy but the whole REALLY thing is totally how I feel.)
I have so much I want to say yet feel bad for even typing it. I start a post then delete it because I feel like either a loser who really needs to move on, or I feel like a jerk for thinking what I am thinking, or mainly I am just plain sick of dealing with it all.
I actually texted a huge post from my bed the other night because I woke up with a racing mind and needed a outlet. I read it shortly there after and deleted it all. It just felt so wrong.
I want it all and I want it now and now obviously isn't what God wants so I wait yet sometimes I have to wonder if He has forgotten me...
I am blessed and life is amazing but I'm ready to be a mom and finding life hard to move on with while I wait.
Hopefully I'll be in a real posting mood soon but until then...
I have so much I want to say yet feel bad for even typing it. I start a post then delete it because I feel like either a loser who really needs to move on, or I feel like a jerk for thinking what I am thinking, or mainly I am just plain sick of dealing with it all.
I actually texted a huge post from my bed the other night because I woke up with a racing mind and needed a outlet. I read it shortly there after and deleted it all. It just felt so wrong.
I want it all and I want it now and now obviously isn't what God wants so I wait yet sometimes I have to wonder if He has forgotten me...
I am blessed and life is amazing but I'm ready to be a mom and finding life hard to move on with while I wait.
Hopefully I'll be in a real posting mood soon but until then...
7 comments:
I find myself saying "REALLY??" quite often. You're not alone lady!
Hey Hun,
I know how you feel! Like, What about me, God??? It makes me feel better to know that Hannah felt the same way, but God had not forgotten her...
I Sam. 1:11
She made a promise, saying, "Lord All-Powerful, see how sad I am. Remember me and don't forget me...
All in His perfect timing :)
Oh, sweetie, I hear ya. I've felt the same way. You're definitely not alone. ((HUGS))
Thank you so much for reading my blog. I sent you an e-mail so when you get one from jfortner its me!
I understand what you mean. I promise I do. It took me 3 years of trying, miscarraiges and periods to get pg FINALLY. We didn't have money for IVF. So we got a loan that we will probably never get paid off. Its such a hard situation. I understand I promise I do. I want you to know I'm praying for you. Its going to happen. I know it will.
Dang. I am sorry you have been feeling like that. I just know that when you get your little girl this will all seem like a bad dream. I just wish you could feel that sooner rather then later. Sending you hugs and just know that this is your blog and you can do all the complaining you want!
I understand the fear of blogging your true feelings. i encourage you to do so, b/c this is your blog and you should be able to blog about whatever you want. If it helps, maybe you could blog, but choose not to post it (share it with the world).
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