OK so! I have so many yet so few thoughts about the meeting last night.
First to clarify it was our local county adoption agency. Not a facilitator or a lawyer simply a county agency meeting.
In a way I didn't really learn to much. I had done a lot of personal research and was mainly going to explore all our options and make sure I understood things correctly. And basically I did.
Our county only does foster to adopt. So you couldn't really have a straight forward adoption. You would have to foster for 6 months and then adopt. Mind you birth mom can take the baby back during those 6 months if she is later found to be a fit mom. I have a problem with this on so many levels. I know any birth mom could change her mind. But children in the system usually aren't there because the mother wants them to be these children are taken away from from the parents. Therefore ( they openly admit) the main goal is to have foster care to eventually get these kids back with their birth families. Right now in life that is just not something were willing and capable of doing.
The odds of getting a healthy baby in the system are also slim to none. Of course he said " Eventually you will get one" but then again you would wait 6 months and possibly lose the baby who the mom didn't even want to give up in the first place.
It's all just beyond what were willing to do right now. Maybe one day much later in life we will foster to adopt. (BTW a large majority of foster kids are older so it would be like adopting a 8 year old.) But at this point in life we are looking to adopt a healthy new born baby and that is worth any amount of money. ( County adoptions are practically free and in fact you often end up getting paid to care for the child)
So all that being said just reaffirmed what I already kinda knew ( from my previous post you can see I pretty much knew what I was getting into) but Hubby said he learned a good amount and we agreed to have a birth mother terminate her rights in days instead of months was worth any amount of money we had to pay.
Our new game plan is to interview the company we recently came upon and go other meeting on June 13th and hopefully sign with someone by the end of June so we can start having our profile viewed and hopefully bring our little Brooke home!
I have a million thoughts in my head right now I want to blog about. The good the bad and the ugly. But before opening my big mouth I need to think a little more...More thoughts on all this to come :)
First to clarify it was our local county adoption agency. Not a facilitator or a lawyer simply a county agency meeting.
In a way I didn't really learn to much. I had done a lot of personal research and was mainly going to explore all our options and make sure I understood things correctly. And basically I did.
Our county only does foster to adopt. So you couldn't really have a straight forward adoption. You would have to foster for 6 months and then adopt. Mind you birth mom can take the baby back during those 6 months if she is later found to be a fit mom. I have a problem with this on so many levels. I know any birth mom could change her mind. But children in the system usually aren't there because the mother wants them to be these children are taken away from from the parents. Therefore ( they openly admit) the main goal is to have foster care to eventually get these kids back with their birth families. Right now in life that is just not something were willing and capable of doing.
The odds of getting a healthy baby in the system are also slim to none. Of course he said " Eventually you will get one" but then again you would wait 6 months and possibly lose the baby who the mom didn't even want to give up in the first place.
It's all just beyond what were willing to do right now. Maybe one day much later in life we will foster to adopt. (BTW a large majority of foster kids are older so it would be like adopting a 8 year old.) But at this point in life we are looking to adopt a healthy new born baby and that is worth any amount of money. ( County adoptions are practically free and in fact you often end up getting paid to care for the child)
So all that being said just reaffirmed what I already kinda knew ( from my previous post you can see I pretty much knew what I was getting into) but Hubby said he learned a good amount and we agreed to have a birth mother terminate her rights in days instead of months was worth any amount of money we had to pay.
Our new game plan is to interview the company we recently came upon and go other meeting on June 13th and hopefully sign with someone by the end of June so we can start having our profile viewed and hopefully bring our little Brooke home!
I have a million thoughts in my head right now I want to blog about. The good the bad and the ugly. But before opening my big mouth I need to think a little more...More thoughts on all this to come :)
14 comments:
Your blog is providing such tremendous insight into the process of adoption and all that the decision entails. thank you for sharing it.
I am just so excited for you. I must admit that before knowing you and reading your blog I did view adoption as a last resort to dealing with IF. But I see now that you are going into this with such a desire to do what God has planned for you. I know that you have peace now because of this. If God chooses to bless you with biological children it will just be a added blessing to your family. You are going to be such a great Mom to your little Brooklyn. You are in my prayers.
So glad the meeting gave you the info you needed to rule that out for now and move on to the June 13th meeting. I hope everything goes well and you are holding Brooklyn in your arms soon!!
I made a promise to myself that if we didn't get pregnant by 2011 that we would look into adoption.
I'm thankful you are sharing so we know sort of what we will be getting ourselves into! Thanks so much!
I gave you an award on my blog! Check it out!
Wow, that is alot to take in. It is great that you are waying all of your options, so you can make the best decision for you!!!
Thanks for sharing!!!!!! And I LOVE the name Brooke!!!!!!
Its such a hard journey. Whatever you choose, know God has a plan!
So much to think about! Wow! I'll be thinking of you!
I was just having a conversation with someone about this exact thing. I was saying the same thing. I do not think I could continually have to give up a child I have grown to love. I have already had enough loss. Good for you though on going to get the information. It sounds like you are moving in a good direction.
How exciting that your getting into the adoption process. Best of luck to you guys. I think its a beautiful gift to give a child loving parents that may not have had that without you. I would love to adopt one day.
Wow thats really interesting that you cant straight up adopt through the county, does the state provide a way to adopt or is it the same way? Sorry to hear about the info but hopefully you can decide on an agency soon:) You will have to let me know which one you decide because we are still so up in the air on everything too with it. Hopefully we will both get our little ones soon!
Just wanted to say thanks for sharing your thoughts on adoption. I hope this new journey brings you the baby you deserve!
You sound like you're in a good place. I'm so happy to read your posts and see where you are. Keep me posted. You know I'm adopted. :)
Best to you!
Kitty
You are in my prayers!!
Just wanted to stop by to thank you so much for the prayers and support for Bentley. We are so grateful for amazing bloggin' friends like you. Although we do not personally know each other, support is support and I hold that close to my heart!! Thank you so much!!
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