I am feeling some major mommy guilt right now...And for a fairly lame reason I know but ... well let me start from the beginning.
From the day Faith came home I couldn't wait to plan her " Officially Forever" party. I had so many themes in my mind from rainbows, to lady bugs, and finally decided on doing a cowgirl theme seeing as we are moving to Texas and all.
I was so excited googling ideas, preparing to hand make decorations, attempting to pick up some necessities and I came up with all these cute little touches that would make the party extra fabulous...and then it hit me! I was ( and am) completely overwhelmed and as much as I would like to throw my little bug the bash of the century celebrating her officially sharing our last name...I couldn't...not only am I just not inherantly blessed with skills like Martha Stewart but besides planning a party I am also packing up a whole apartment, preparing for a cross country move, trying to see everyone I can before we leave, spend plenty of time with my family, all while being a single mom to a fully mobile walking 9 and a half month old baby!
And right now while trying to look up some ideas on centerpieces for the party, which by the way has so uncreativley turned into a red white and blue festivity, it just hit me that I can't throw my precious Faith the party I want too. I have neither the ability nor the time to do so at this stage in the game and because of that I am feeling so much guilt!
I never want Faith to feel that there were more important things going on in life than her and the celebration of her...It kills me that I can't hand make the banner I wanted to use for her big day, I don't have the time to create fun little party bags for our little friends and honestly that I am just too tired to do so.
So tomorrow I head to the dollar store to get some more pre-made 4th of July decor for her party, feeling slightly guilty for not being Martha Stewart but knowing the only thing that matters at the end of the day is the incredible blessing that the judge will declare officially and forever our precious W.i.n.t.e.r. F.a.i.t.h.
16 comments:
I know all about mommy guilt! But, coming from one who is working to overcome it, don't be too hard on yourself. It's the daily loving you give her that will make her feel special. Sometimes the simple things make the most special memories. And if it makes you feel better, the day we finalized, we just celebrated with dinner out and a long drive back to San Antonio from Dallas. Don't stress! Moving is crazy stressful enough. Oh, and have I mentioned that I'm totally jealous of you moving back to TX? I miss it! :)
We have chosen to do small "private" family celebrations for our forever days and birthdays. It has been wonderful and the kids love their special days. Yes, I want to shout out to the world. . . but I want to hold my family close even more. I, myself, never feel like I get my quality time when there are a gazillion people around. You do what is right for you and I totally agree--there is way too much on your plate to have any added stress. It will be a perfect day--no matter what you do! CONGRATS!
Mommy guilt is something that all us mommies struggle with from time to time and it is totally normal. Just remember this: the Lord chose you to be faiths mommy and you are a great one. She is loved, well cared for, and a blessed little girl. Never forget what a great mom you are :)
The only thing that matters is that you love her unconditionally and that she will be yours forever. The other things just dont matter.
Don't look at it as "not being able to throw her the best party". You have plenty of reason to celebrate and she will have a lifetime of precious memories to hold close to her heart! You have already given her the best "party" there is....having a great mother, great family, and a place to call home. Rejoice in that!!!!!!
When Winni was playing with your cell phone last night, she secretly called me and said that she knows You and Daddy love her more than anything and that's what counts. Win said "Not to worry, ALL is Wondraful!" And the BIG Moochie she gave you yesterday - that was to say she LOVES you bunches.
Just know that no matter what the party will be great because of what you are celebrating and not because of the handmade decorations or lack of..... I throw parties all the time for different occasions and trust me I know how you feel on wanting this to be PERFECT but it will be since you are celebrating the BEST thing EVER!!!! Congratulations again :) J
Heather!!! Take a good long look at yourself in the mirror and then give yourself a big huge smack in the face. LOL. I have seen too many moms get so obsessed with planning their kids' parties and celebrations and having everything just perfect that they lose sight of what the party is about: showing love to their child. Seriously, seriously, seriously do not fall into the trap of looking at what other moms do and feeling like you have to do that much or better. Ask yourself, is Winni going to care that you spent a bunch of time making her a banner or cupcakes or whatever? No. She's basically happy with a cardboard box right now. In ten years is she going to look at photos and say "Mom I can't believe you got me those store bought decoratios!" Um, no, she's not. She's going to look at her happy face and your happy face and give you a big hug because she knows you love her SO MUCH. Decorations don't "prove" your love. BEING there, spending quality time with her (not exhausted because you stayed up all night putting on the finishing touches), THAT demonstrates your love to her every day. Remember that!
Okay, lecture over. ;)
Relax and enjoy the experience - all the rest just doesn't matter - what matters is that she will officially be yours forever and ever. What matters is that you and Greg have done a wonderful job in raising her thus far and she knows the love that everyone has for her.
Love - Aunt sue
I'm positive she would understand:) Besides you're doing all these other busy little things like moving all the way to Texas to make sure she has the best life possible so you're the best mommy in the world.
Nikki said it perfectly! All the bells and whistles doesn't show your love. All that party one-upsmanship is just plain dumb. Just giving her our best everyday is what matters. Love you, hunny!
Oh, I can understand where you're coming from. But I bet she's going to have so much fun being the center of attention! That's all she's going to care about - that she's having a great time!!! Just think of it this way, Little Winni will get to spend more time with you since you won't be doing so many preparations. And that's the most important thing of all! I hope your party is wonderful!!!! (As I'm sure it will be!) :)
You may not have the time or energy to create the party you envisioned, but you have already given her the greatest gift possible - a loving family! It's the tickles in the morning, the heart-shaped pancakes, the stories, and the prayers before bed that she will remember most and know that she is loved beyond measure! Martha Stewart ain't got nothing on you! xoxo
Ha! Do you remember my "Mama guilt" post a couple months ago? I know that mama guilt. I understand wanting to be the super home maker. Her party will be wonderful because you are her Mommy! That is all she needs.
Hey girl... Kristin emailed me and told me that you are moving to Austin in a few weeks. She only emailed me that because we too are packing up to head there soon. She mentioned that you are adopting your beautiful little girl tomorrow and that your hubs got a job in Austin. Not sure if you are a reader of my blog, but we have a little boy that is 10 months old, we are moving to Austin and we are looking to adopt a little girl in the coming years. Of course, we know very little people in Austin, but I wanted to reach out and let you know that at least you will have one fellow blogger moving your way very soon :) My email is everbrooke@yahoo.com.
We didn't even have a party! Well, at the last minute (literally in the afternoon on the finalization day) I called a few friends and invited them over for treats. My hubby picked up a cookie cake on the way home from work and everyone who came (probably about 5 couples if that) brought something to share. So maybe that makes you feel better? At least you planned something ahead of time and decorated at all:-)
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