So I know many of you have been missing me ;) OK not really but obvioulsy I haven't been posting nearly as much as I had planned on and/or wanted to. I guess I like to try and be positive so when I have negative things to say I try to say nothing at all. All that being said you may be wondering how things are now that we are in Texas.
How's Austin? Well ... its...OK. Not the best not the worst...In all honesty I do want to go home, back to California. I don't think I could have ever imagined how lonely I would be out here without my family and friends. Weekends when my hubby is home are great! But Monday thru Friday from 7am to about 630pm its just me and Faith...all alone...no friends....no family... in a new town...Yeah not so fun.
Austin in and of itself is fine. It's very beautiful out here, there are some unique places to visit and of course there are Sonic's on every corner which is a big plus ;) But no matter how "cool" people say it is, it's not home and its not where my family and friends are.
I have to say I haven't found the hype of Austin. When we were moving out here everyone talked about how great it is out here. I mean how incredible and awesome it was but frankly I don't know why. It's beyond words hot out here. Heat index all week has been over 105 degrees. Then at night the bugs are insane! The city is HUGE so to me everything is so far away. Anytime I get in the car I'm looking at 20 minutes minimum ( although I do realize this just may be the area of town we picked). Now I am sure Austin has many amazing things we have yet to discover I am just sharing my opinion on my time out here so far. So no Austin lovers better send me hate mail :)
I've joined several mom groups none of which I am completely in love with but the women are nice and its nice to get out with Faith and have some interaction with someone other than my 11 month old daughter. I have found one that I really enjoy but I miss my mommy friends back hom who really knew me and knew who I was as a mother and as a friend.
I've been really struggling to during the days. Faith is so needy right now, even when hubby comes home she screams if he just looks at her she is so attached to me. I don't think I have peed by myself since we got here. I don't know whats going on with her but it breaks my heart because I feel like we took so much away from her by moving away from all the people who love her. Its incredibly challenging to never have a break. I mean NEVER! I know so many of you do it and kudos to you because it is the most hardest thing I have ever done.
Then to top it all off Faith is turning 1 in just a few shorts weeks and yes my mom is coming out here for it but I still feel so alone with it. We obviously don't know anyone out here so for her big birthday bash its just gonna be the 4 of us Grandma, me, hubby and Faith...Not the bash I had dreamed of for my little girl.
I guess at the end of the day its just so lonely. More than I could have ever imagined it would be. And please don't tell me to give it time or be patient or whatever. I just wish things could go back to the way they were a month ago. 1 month ago life was close to perfect and I feel like my whole world has literally just fallen apart right before my eyes...
See why I haven't posted lately. I just hate being like this. I know there are bigger problems in the world and I should be thankful my husband has a great job, we have a beautiful daughter , our life is good. And don't get me wrong I am thankful for those things but it still doesn't take away the deep lonliness inside of me since we moved here...and I honestly don't know how that can ever change at this point.
* On a side note we went out tonight with a couple from Hubby's work and their 13 month old and had a really great night. I forgot to mention how nice Austinites are :) *
* On a side note we went out tonight with a couple from Hubby's work and their 13 month old and had a really great night. I forgot to mention how nice Austinites are :) *
7 comments:
Nope, the traffic is all of Austin. It's different to visit then live there I know. Coming from Dallas, it's so much prettier in Austin. But you came from a very pretty area so that doesn't help.
My husband can tell you where to go watch some bats fly on a bridge if you're interested! The capital is very nice to visit.
I'm right there with you on the clingy and no break ever. My husband has pretty much worked 7 days a week all summer. NOT FUN!
It took me till the 3rd month to really start feeling at home here. Finally made one friend that we get out and do stuff with. I know 100% what you're going through. If you need someone to talk to that's going through it I'm happy to talk, not sure what help I would be. But I get it completely. I can't tell you how many times I've just wanted to pack our bags and go back to Dallas. Resisting the urge to tell you it will get better. :-(
Glad your mom is coming for Faith's birthday. And I know it's hard, I hop you're still able to enjoy it and making it the best 4 person birthday party ever. Maybe invite the couple from your hubby's work to have another child there.
{{{HUGS}}}
HUGS!!!
You know when we moved to STL we immediately knew that it wasn't home. And here we are four years later. And it still doesn't feel like home. The first two years, I was lonely. I had my flight attendant friends but we never hung out outside of work. Mostly because a lot of them were either pregnant or had little ones and at that time...I just couln't.
Now that Jay is looking just about everywhere for a job I know I will most likely find myself being lonely yet again. And now I will be leaving my wonderful playgroup, my best friend and Shelby's little "boyfriend". And that makes me sad. Yes, it still doesn't feel like home but I finally have a base of friends here, that I love and know I can talk to and that they understand.
I agree with Debbie, invite that couple and their little boy to Faith's birthday party. Big parties are fun, but I will tell ya, it can be really overwhelming for the little one at the same time.
Keep going to the mommy groups, one will finally feel right. Or maybe there are some kiddos/parents in your apartment complex that you can start your own little group.
Moving stinks no matter how old you are. Faith is probably just feeling a little insecure about everything right now and I'm sure she will calm down when life gets into your new normal.
Hang in there!
My heart breaks for you friend! Moving is hard and its a hard adjustment on all! I'm sure once Faith gets use to the new house and her new routine, things will get better. Finding friends is hard but knowing how amazing you are, I know you will find some amazing women to keep you busy! You are missed terribly back home but we all know you guys are doing whats best for faith and your future family! Love you! Call me when you are feeling lonely! Maybe I'm not 10 minutes away anymore but I am a phone call away!
Girl, I SOOOO could have written this post!!! We have been in Virginia for 7 months, and I STILL don't feel at home. I found a play group to join, but most of those moms don't have the same interests as I do. We have been going to a church for months, and we've even joined a SS class, but I still don't feel at home. Our pastor preached on loneliness this morning, and he kept talking about getting involved. The only thing I can say is that I have signed up for a homegroup to be a part of, I have signed up for MOPS, and in a few weeks I'm joining the choir. I'm going to give it all I've got, and if in a few months I'm still feeling alone, I just might need to be committed. lol
I know you don't want to hear this, but just give it a little more time. Once you find a church that you can join and find a way to get involved there, I think things will begin to turn around for you. Look for a MOPS group to join. And I think you should totally invite your hubby's coworkers to Faith's party. Little Bit and Faith share the same birthday, and we're inviting some of Jon's coworkers who have kids.
Faith is probably sensing your stress and loneliness and that's why she's so clingy. They are really good at sensing our feelings. The more at home you feel, the more at home she'll feel. It's an adjustment for everyone. Just keep reminding yourself that the decision you made is what's best in the long run, and while there are some hurts and bumps in the road now, it will get better. (That's what I keep telling myself.)
I know you feel so alone. Believe me, I COMPLETELY get it!!! I just keep praying that God will send that one person to me who gets it and will help me get involved. It will happen for me and for you, and one day we'll look back and be able to smile at how far God has brought us. Praying for you...
I'm so sorry to hear that things haven't been as easy and great as you had hoped. I can completely understand what you mean though. Its different to be away from family and friends and have to suddenly call it home. I hope that things start to get easier for you. I really have no words to make it better for you but know that I am thinking of you guys and keeping you in my prayers.
You should have moved to Oklahoma :) Then we could take our little 11 month old cuties to the park and all over the town together :)
Hugs.
Just as other commenters have stated, it actually does take some time to feel more comfortable in your new "home." I also made a move shortly after my son was born (although my move was to go back home, a home which was not home for 15 years), and DH and I felt sooo lonely! We left our jobs, our friends, and our home to be here. I knew it would be a wise decision, but the whole time, we were commiserating at all that we lost. It's been 8 months and while the adjustment is better, (I know longer feel like we made a horrible decision), I'm still looking for what I lost. Now I'm trying to focus on what I've gained. I've joined a few dancing groups which I enjoy and am making more plans to hang with family here. I still have yet to find a job and a home, but I'm working on it. Just focus on what you're gaining there in Austin, and in time, as you get your routine and new friends (trust me, you'll make friends, what's not to love about you), you'll start to feel a little less lonely. No worries abuot feeling negative....we all feel it at some point.
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