...but really I am a softie at heart!
Before Hubby and I had Faith we often talked about how we would parent. We often liked to talk about parenting our child once they hit high school. How we would make sure we have the numbers of where they are going to beat and then call the parents to check. We will make them check in with us through out the night and shoot I'll put a tracker in Faith's car too ! LOL OK that last one I am kidding but we definitely want to be those parents, the kind that our child is totally embarrassed by the fact we want to actually know where they are going, and what they are doing and yes we will wait up for Faith until she gets home too!
We also talked about ways we would reward and discipline our younger ones so that they wouldn't grow up to be problem children. I had all these wonderful " Super Nanny-esc" ideas and I am quickly coming to find it is A LOT harder than I thought it would be to be discipline Faith!
You see she is definitely hitting an age ( 16 months tomorrow) where I have no doubts she understands what I am saying. She now knows what is right and what is wrong ( with friendly reminders along the way) and up until now I have kinda given Faith the free pass feeling that she was still a baby and didn't fully understand what I was expecting of her. But in the last month she has changed and grown and is now without a doubt, a toddler who understands many things.
So now the hard part begins. Disciplining and most importantly being consistent. I've watched enough Super Nanny to know consistency is the key.
One thing that has worked for us is timeouts. They don't last long just a minute or so and we have the perfect little spot close to our bedroom where I sit Faith when she is misbehaving ( mainly hitting ) It usually ends in some tears ( I have to fight mine back) but then Faith moves on and after hugs and kisses we go about our play time.
But its all just so hard when I see her little bottom lip curl up into a cry when I sternly look in her eyes and tell her " No". It breaks my heart and I just want to grab her and love on her.
Even as I say that though I know that proper discipline is truly what a child needs and desires. Not only do I not want to be the people labeled with "that kid" you know the out of control crazy one that no one wants to invite over because their child wrecks everything in sight? But the bible even tells us it is proper to discipline a child.
Train up a child in the ways he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it
Proverbs 22:6
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him
Proverbs 22:15
Discipline your son and he will give you rest, he will give delight to your heart
Proverbs 29:17
...bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord
Ephesians 6:4
I know many of us are in similar phases with our kids age so if you have any tips, tricks, or advice I would love to hear it!
In the mean time I will continue doing my best and being the best mom I can be even if that means seeing my sweet little Faith pout that bottom lip as I put her in timeout !
7 comments:
I so understand this..before Sierra was born I was one that said "My child will NEVER sleep with me." haha! Justin worked nights for the first 6 months of her life so I let her sleep with me.
sounds good-- my hubs and i love to critique the fams needing Super Nanny, but I know we'll be in some of those boats, too ...you're doing great!
Totally feel your pain. Haha. I hate it when Beo's little face scrunches up and he starts crying! Breaks my heart! We also have these amazing stare-off moments... he'll toss a piece of food on the floor and I say BEO, and he just looks me right in the eye and STARES until I crack up!!!
The only advice I can think of is not to compare your kid with anybody else's - you know how much they do or don't understand and where they are developmentally. It's your decision where to stand your ground, and even if other people would draw a different line it's okay. Just as long as whatever you choose, you DO stand your ground!
I could use some advice on winning staring contests, though.
Keep being the parents you are being. You will hit these tiny little phases in life. She will test her bounderies but you just keep being her mom. Things always fall into place. The one thing that I have learned besides trying to be consistant (although that doesn't always work) is to just express your love for your child in every way that you can. Talk about things and always end things on a positive note. You have developed a realationship with Faith and that is the most important step to raising the best daughter you can. She will grow up to be a beautiful little girl and eventually a beautifyl woman inside and out becasue she has you and Greg by her side guideing her and never giving up on her!!!
She'll go through a "testing" phase with you for a little while and then stop for ages and then it'll come back up out of nowhere. It gets easier to discipline them as they get more deliberate and defiant, I promise. I cried the first time I put L in time out, too, and now at 22 months? I don't think twice about threatening her with it and then following through. You'll find once she really figures out what "time out" is, the threat of it alone will make her really think about whether or not the defiance is worth it. I get a huge kick out of watching L's eyes when I know she's processing these events.
Keep it up! You'll never regret disciplining your child in a Godly, loving way!
you are a great mom! This is one of the hardest aspects of being a parent but it also leads to the most rewarding outcome. Stay strong and when you are out of strength, lean on the Lord!
Kaua is 3 months younger than faith, but I'm also on the cusp of discipline beginning. He tends to pull my hair, hit or bite I think all in efforts to gain my attention. he thinks it's funny when i sternly tell him no. I've also tried time outs, by putting him in the hallway (still in sight) and this seems to do the trick in conveying that his behavior is not acceptable. It is very challenging this disciplining thing! Sorry no advice, but its reassuring to know that other mommies are facing similar challenges.
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