Life is full of them.
The ups and downs, the highs and lows. The easy times and hard times and everything in between.
Lately my life has been full of them. My emotions seem so all over the place and lately I find myself feeling more and more like a crazy person. I have days my heart is so full of joy and I am on cloud nine and as quickly as it came I find the next day full of sorrow and pain.
I have really considered talking to someone outside of the home about all my feelings out here but I know that in a way that could have long term consequences. And I very much feel like my sadness is a direct result of my circumstances not necessarily something deep within that can't be changed.
When it comes to blogging though, you usually only hear about the peaks and the valleys.
You only hear the extremes of my life. Both good and bad and sadly I will admit lately more bad than good.
I have had several people email me lately concerned about my well being and bringing up the possibility of me being depressed. While I truly appreciate that people care enough about me to contact me and let me know they are concerned please remember unless you know me in every day life you can't really make that call. Because how I said earlier you only hear about the highs and lows and not really all the in between.
Because I can tell you most days are just great. I wake up with a smile on my face, every morning we are out by 10:30am at a play date or park or some sort of activity for Faith , we come home we have lunch we nap and then play before Daddy gets home, have family dinner, take baths, play some more and do it all over again the next day and I couldn't be happier that this is my life.
So from here on out the whole idea of my blog is going to change a little. I always felt the need to say something big and profound and important bu really the blog is to document the life of Faith and my life as a Mama. The ups and downs the high and lows and especially everything in between. So my blog post may often be shorter as they just share some about our day. And some days they may be longer when I have a lot on my mind.
But I invite you all to come along for the ride, the peaks and the valleys, and the roller coaster I call life.
8 comments:
You are so right, the ups and downs are just a part of life, and of mommyhood. I will say, though, that I have gotten outside help at a couple of times in my life and never was it because I was "clinically depressed" or whatever. I am a full believer in getting support BEFORE I ever hit that point. I actually really enjoy the process of therapy and learn a lot. But that's me:). Everyone has to decide that for themselves of course.
I haven't seen your posts as indicating depression. Unless someone has moved to a completely different place, and especially when they have just taken on a major new role in life, as you have in becoming a mom, they can't possibly understand how hard it is to get used to living in a whole new area. We are a military family, and it usually takes us a year to even a year and a half to really get settled in and start liking an area. I am praying that Austin begins to feel more like home soon.
Yes life is about peaks and valleys and then all the in between. When you think about your journey to Faith those were filled with peaks and valleys too.
When we lost our adopted embies I sought a LCSW. Just to help me through my feelings. The outside party. It wasn't that I was depressed just needed someone outside my life that wouldn't judge me and could just listen and validate my feelings. It helped and when I there wasn't anything else to talk about I stopped going. Not saying you need to see someone.
Anywho. I look forward to hearing about the in betweens too. I'm sure that will include cute pics of Faith. BTW too my hubby picked out the name Faith for a girl if we adopt a girl. :)
What is ABB on FB?
It's interesting how everyone blogs so differently. For a long time, I just posted "facts" instead of my feelings on things. Then, I did a couple posts about how I've been feeling lately and that's when I got 2 nasty anonymous comments. I totally agree that blog readers typically only see a small part of your life. You are entitled to have feelings and your blog is your outlet, so post away!! And, here's to hoping for more peaks than valleys! :-)
I just want you to know that I get it. I've had the same thing happen to me over the past couple of weeks. It's funny because I just posted something about changing the way I blog but truth be told I shouldn't have to because that's what its for. Life is a huge roller coaster. We all have our ups and downs. Some days are great while others are not. I have my bad days and I have a right to vent and want to throw things if I so choose. It's okay for me to lock myself in the bathroom and cry but the upside to that is that I do get up everyday with a smile and I face whatever challenge is being tossed my way.
If you ever just want to chat or whatever please know that I am here. Here is my email address shanmall03@gmail.com. I can email you my cell number so that you have it. Sometimes sendeing a venting text helps too =)
I think you are doing an amazing job. You are a wonderful mommy and just so you know its totally okay and completely normal to go through everything that you are going through. Life isn't easy and all we can do is put one foot in front of the other and take each day as it comes.
Life is messy. Who said that life would be all rainbows and sunshine? And you are absolutely right...mommyhood has its ups and downs. There will be great days and rough days. And most likely, those great days will outnumber those rough days by far.
I enjoy your posts. All of them. :) I'd be happy to hop along for the ride.
I totally agree with you on people only getting a glimpse of your life from blogging. If they knew you IRL they would totally know that you are a happy-go-lucky person and a great mommy to Faith. I am proud to call you my friend :) J
I enjoy your posts, even the ones of how you are missing home, and transitioning to life in TX. When you write about your downs as well as your ups, it is real, it is honest. I think so many bloggers and perhaps more adoption bloggers tend to be all rainbows and bunnies, so it is refreshing to read about real life. But I also understand that people interpret the written word the way they want to, inflict the emotion that may not be intentional.
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