So my ticker is a little off on the side and I get to test this Saturday! I am so excited! I actually don't even feel anxious as I have had this incredible peace over me this cycle ( as you could tell from my previous post) but I Have to be honest...I tested on Tuesday. It was negative BUT that was only 9 dpo and I have cheap tests that don't detect on the low end, so I still feel faithful and confident and hopeful and excited! I am still praying for our miracle. Some days I like to think I feel something going on down there and other days I'm pretty sure we'll be moving onto the next cycle so I decided to quit trying and just give it up to God. Its all in HIS hands anyway so why worry?
I also have made some more decisions. I read a devotional the other day about God being the ultimate doctor and sometimes I do think that I put to much hope in my RE or my acupuncturists when my real hope should be in the Lord. I also read ( which I knew but it was nice to read) that while a RE can put together a sperm and a egg only God can create and sustain life. And it kind of hit me...... We're done with all this for a little. I realized that God can create a life inside of me with or without Dr. H. HE can create a life inside of me without progesterone, weekly supplements, and acupuncture appointments. HE IS THE ULTIMATE DOCTOR AND GIVER OF LIFE! My husband and I talked about this last night and decided several things. One is that as long as our RE is still offering us free treatment we will continue. On a little different terms. No more $500+ for meds, just Clomid, trigger shot and that's it. This will help us so much financially. I know we are so blessed to receive all the ultra sounds and IUI procedure for free but we can barely afford the cost of meds. Well continue on for a cycle of two if our RE continues to do it at no costs but once he has to start charging again ( and trust me we understand that most definitely) we will be taking time off. So that is the first decision we made. The second is that for the rest of 2009 as hard as it may be at times we are 100% giving it to God and God only. Of course we're not going to stop trying, we will never stop, but were just going to be au natural and give it the old college try! I'll chart, keep my weight in check, eat healthy, take my prenatals and do the best we can along side our number one supporter GOD! It is way past due that we rests our hearts and hope in HIM and HIM alone. And the final decision we have made which may or may not contradict the previous ( depending on how you look at it) is that if by January 2010 we are not pregnant, we will do IVF. This gives us a year to save money, and a year to be faithful in hope and prayer. Hubby was actually really happy after all these decisions were made. My hubby is very VERY good with money and saving and avoiding debt so I wasn't to sure how the IVF reaction would be, but it was good and much better than I expected :)
So that is where we are today. Two days away from finding out which will be the next road we take:) Wish us luck and check back soon!
I also have made some more decisions. I read a devotional the other day about God being the ultimate doctor and sometimes I do think that I put to much hope in my RE or my acupuncturists when my real hope should be in the Lord. I also read ( which I knew but it was nice to read) that while a RE can put together a sperm and a egg only God can create and sustain life. And it kind of hit me...... We're done with all this for a little. I realized that God can create a life inside of me with or without Dr. H. HE can create a life inside of me without progesterone, weekly supplements, and acupuncture appointments. HE IS THE ULTIMATE DOCTOR AND GIVER OF LIFE! My husband and I talked about this last night and decided several things. One is that as long as our RE is still offering us free treatment we will continue. On a little different terms. No more $500+ for meds, just Clomid, trigger shot and that's it. This will help us so much financially. I know we are so blessed to receive all the ultra sounds and IUI procedure for free but we can barely afford the cost of meds. Well continue on for a cycle of two if our RE continues to do it at no costs but once he has to start charging again ( and trust me we understand that most definitely) we will be taking time off. So that is the first decision we made. The second is that for the rest of 2009 as hard as it may be at times we are 100% giving it to God and God only. Of course we're not going to stop trying, we will never stop, but were just going to be au natural and give it the old college try! I'll chart, keep my weight in check, eat healthy, take my prenatals and do the best we can along side our number one supporter GOD! It is way past due that we rests our hearts and hope in HIM and HIM alone. And the final decision we have made which may or may not contradict the previous ( depending on how you look at it) is that if by January 2010 we are not pregnant, we will do IVF. This gives us a year to save money, and a year to be faithful in hope and prayer. Hubby was actually really happy after all these decisions were made. My hubby is very VERY good with money and saving and avoiding debt so I wasn't to sure how the IVF reaction would be, but it was good and much better than I expected :)
So that is where we are today. Two days away from finding out which will be the next road we take:) Wish us luck and check back soon!
7 comments:
I've been thinking about you so much, Heather! (Probably because I figured out last time you were home that we're on, oh, about the same schedule, and it's my time now.) I also had a feeling that you already did a test and that it was neg, and was SO hoping you wouldn't get discouraged over that, 'cause you're right, it's way early to expect a cheap little test to pick it up.
Hang in there! I'm thinking of and praying for you guys daily.
Jen
You're sooooo inspiring! What a great post! I hope this cycle is it so you don't have to put your plan into place. :)
Good luck and I can't wait to hear your results! You should be very, very proud of yourself that you have enough strength to hold off testing. I have went through 9 tests since Monday. I'm sick.
This is a good post. You're in a good and peaceful spot. I really, really hope you get your BFP tomorrow! Keep us posted and if you're going to go buy a preg test, buy the first response early response pregnancy tests which are non-digital. It showed me our BFP at 10dpo.
Best to you!
Kitty
Good luck Saturday! Praying for a BFP!
Btw, as a fellow cyster, I never got a positive HPT until at least 12 dpiui or even later. With Matthew I had a beta of 33 at 13 dpiui. He is now 6 yrs old. :)
PRAYING girl!!
This is such a calming post. I like how you put everything into perspective.
Praying for your BFP and more!
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