I never thought I would get used to the idea of being childless, but I am.
I never thought I would get used to month after month of negative pregnancy test, but I am.
I never thought I would get used to shots in the stomach and vaginal ultrasounds, but I am.
I never thought I would get used to month after month of negative pregnancy test, but I am.
I never thought I would get used to shots in the stomach and vaginal ultrasounds, but I am.
I'm feeling so off today. Odd, that I am so used to being infertile like its the only life I have ever known. And while it is, at the same time it isn't. Before we started trying I have the same naiveness most of us had when we first started trying. I want to go back to that innocence. I want to at least feel fertile even if I'm not.
I hate that I feel like infertility would be me all along. I haven't known anything different. I have never seen 2 lines on a pregnancy test. I have never known the excitement of being pregnant even if only for a short while. I have never remotely felt that joy of conception.
And I'm used to it.
3 more pregnancy announcements this week. Apparently baby things in my life come in threes as you can see from this post. ( Maybe that means triplets! LOL Um yeah I'd be more than thankful for one at this point in life!) These three women though all deserve it. They are married, successful, responsible, beautiful women of God and I am so incredibly happy for them.
If you could spare a little prayer to send my way I would surely appreciate it as last night I could just feel the devil working and getting in my head. Today he's back at it again. Please pray for peace and patience for us today.
Thanks for listening to my vent! I don't know what I would do without you girls!
I hate that I feel like infertility would be me all along. I haven't known anything different. I have never seen 2 lines on a pregnancy test. I have never known the excitement of being pregnant even if only for a short while. I have never remotely felt that joy of conception.
And I'm used to it.
3 more pregnancy announcements this week. Apparently baby things in my life come in threes as you can see from this post. ( Maybe that means triplets! LOL Um yeah I'd be more than thankful for one at this point in life!) These three women though all deserve it. They are married, successful, responsible, beautiful women of God and I am so incredibly happy for them.
If you could spare a little prayer to send my way I would surely appreciate it as last night I could just feel the devil working and getting in my head. Today he's back at it again. Please pray for peace and patience for us today.
Thanks for listening to my vent! I don't know what I would do without you girls!
8 comments:
Satan is so mean!;) I feel like just when I am feeling some peace, here he comes!! I'll be praying for you! I hope tomorrow will be a better day!
((HUGS))
Praying for you!! I know sometimes it seems like IF becomes who you are...but remember, it's just what you are going through - and stronger because of it! Find a few good verses to fight off those devilish thoughts - he's a sneaky one!
Thanks for the info on adoption, do you have any idea on costs possibly?
Praying for you, I could have written this same post almost its amazing how we get used to it in some way, hopefully one day we will know the life of having a child to hold!
Oh, sweetie, I feel the same way. It's so hard when the only life you've ever known is infertility. :(
Thinking and praying for you.
Definitely praying! Even after adoption, infertility can still be so hard. It can still be hard to wonder if we will ever experience the joy and wonder of learning that we're pregnant. But the Lord truly does come close to the brokenhearted and brings joy through the pain.
Even after beating infertility, Satan STILL tries to take my mind and run with the pain I endured. I will pray for you--just remember, God is just working in HIS time for you right now. It is so hard to accept his time when it doesn't match our own.
*hugs*
My heart - and prayers -- go out to you, Heather.
Oh really, have you ever lived in Texas before? Or just visited? I love Texas!! I think I would love California too and hope to vacation there someday, but Texas is my "home".
Bless your heart for all you are going through. I will definetely add you to my prayers. Stay strong and believe!
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