Ahhh I am so excited and so thankful for all the wonderful comments thoughts and prayers! So without further a due ... Our meeting!
Hubby and I went in expecting a sales pitch of sorts as well as gathering some info. We were incredibly happy to say we did not hear a sales pitch whatsoever and we gathered a HUGE amount of information. I went in with a list of about 30 questions and they answered all but 1 before I even had to ask.
Well hubby and I drove about 40 minutes to the meeting which was held a the Marriott. It's nice to have a facilitator ( I won't call them an agency any longer because they are not an agency and I am starting to confuse my family :) But anyways it's nice to have them close by so we feel we can get to know them as opposed to only phone calls and mailing in checks!
So we got there along with about 30 other people. All kinds of people young and old, black and white, straight and gay, a little bit of everything.
The first part of the meeting was the head of the company, who is also the lawyer, spoke about different adoptions and the pro's and con's of each. Options being domestic, international, agency, facilitator, and foster to adopt. Then they have a birth mom come to the meeting to share her experience and her side of the story. She was great. Let me just say she would have never chosen us to be her son's adoptive family. She couldn't have been more opposite from us. She openly said she would have chosen abortion but it was too late. She wanted a strong single liberal woman who had already adopted to raise her little guy. That description is about as far from who hubby and I are as possible. But the great thing that it showed me is everyone will have their own different views and opinions when choosing adoptive parents. It's like there is someone out there for everyone. While this particular birth mom, Nikki, would never have chosen us, another birth mom would never have chosen the adoptive family Nikki chose. And that just made me realize somebody out there will pick us for us and we don't have to put up a front to be the perfect people!
Also they had a family who recently adopted through them and they were a great story. Yes they were the fairy tale story who only waited 3 weeks and got a phone call at 1:30am Christmas morning and went to pick up their healthy beautiful baby girl. I know that's not the norm and they openly admitted that but none the less it's nice to hear some of the brighter stories.
I don't know how to format this next part well so I will just bullet point in with facts and things we learned about the facilitator or adoption in general... (Our facilitator is AH)
-AH is a husband wife lawyer team. They are not a licensed agency but are instead a facilitator and approved with a A+ rating from the Better Business Bureua ( although if you look on there website one person did negatively review AH. Everyone has their own opinions. Ours thus far are positive)
-Last year there were 127 birth mothers working with them and 148 new clients. They have close to a 1-1 ratio. They try to keep their clients numbers under 150
- There average wait time is 6-12 months with most occurring in 6-8 months
- They only show profiles to birth moms after 6 months of pregnancy. In their experience this is an adequate amount of time where they feel the birth mom has thought out her decision of adoption a little more and therefore they have less likelihood of mind changing
- They do screening on all birth moms, pregnancy test, STD's screening, HIV screening, etc
- CA does not have a 30 day termination period as I have thought. The rules changed in 2009 and it is now 5pm the next day
- They help you make this awesome profile ( that we got to see examples of)
- 2 things that will drastically slow down your being matched is A) saying you can not pay any birth mothers expenses and B) choosing a gender. Why? Because 20% of b-moms know their having a boy, 20% know they are having a girl, 60% do not know. Therefore if you say we will only take a boy, your profile will only be shown to the 20% that are definitely having a boy.
- The case workers are huge supporters of the birth moms. They are there for them for a life time. While they are not counselors, they are an ear to listen. They help the b-mom arrange doctor appointments, how the birthing process will go ( adoptive family in the birthing room, whose first to hold the baby, who cuts the cord, etc) and stay in contact with her the whole way through.
- Birth fathers have a lot less rights then I realized and grandparents have no rights to oppose the adoption
- AH goal is to 100% be the median between the b-mom and adoptive family. They always do their best not to put you in a situation they see could be potentially negative
- You can freeze your account in Phase 1 if you happen to become pregnant or another circumstance
- Talked about home study and the fees
- Gave a honest overall estimate of the cost of adoption , not just including their fees but including everything from home study, to travel, to meals you eat in the hospital, to give you an honest estimate.
There was so much more we learned over the 3 hours that I can't even get close to telling you everything. But we left with a great feeling. The whole AH team was there which spoke a lot to us. The lawyer and head of AH was a really great guy and not once did we ever feel pressured to hurry and sign up before its to late. In fact we were encouraged to take the print out of questions to ask other places and interview at least 4-5 more before choosing. Hubby is the ever skeptic so the fact that he was impressed spoke mountains.
So now we just get filling out our paper work and get paper pregnant! Yesterday was just the renewed hope that we needed to carry on and know that this is what we are suppose to be doing!
Thanks for all the amazing support! Please continue to pray for us as we have A LOT of financial planning to do as well as praying for a quick matching process!
*** I would like to note I am not a lawyer or social worker or any sort of professional. All information was as I heard it and interpreted it. It is not written in stone nor is it the word of the law so please don't use what I say about adoption as I know no more than anyone else. Just learning and understanding to the best of my ability***
Hubby and I went in expecting a sales pitch of sorts as well as gathering some info. We were incredibly happy to say we did not hear a sales pitch whatsoever and we gathered a HUGE amount of information. I went in with a list of about 30 questions and they answered all but 1 before I even had to ask.
Well hubby and I drove about 40 minutes to the meeting which was held a the Marriott. It's nice to have a facilitator ( I won't call them an agency any longer because they are not an agency and I am starting to confuse my family :) But anyways it's nice to have them close by so we feel we can get to know them as opposed to only phone calls and mailing in checks!
So we got there along with about 30 other people. All kinds of people young and old, black and white, straight and gay, a little bit of everything.
The first part of the meeting was the head of the company, who is also the lawyer, spoke about different adoptions and the pro's and con's of each. Options being domestic, international, agency, facilitator, and foster to adopt. Then they have a birth mom come to the meeting to share her experience and her side of the story. She was great. Let me just say she would have never chosen us to be her son's adoptive family. She couldn't have been more opposite from us. She openly said she would have chosen abortion but it was too late. She wanted a strong single liberal woman who had already adopted to raise her little guy. That description is about as far from who hubby and I are as possible. But the great thing that it showed me is everyone will have their own different views and opinions when choosing adoptive parents. It's like there is someone out there for everyone. While this particular birth mom, Nikki, would never have chosen us, another birth mom would never have chosen the adoptive family Nikki chose. And that just made me realize somebody out there will pick us for us and we don't have to put up a front to be the perfect people!
Also they had a family who recently adopted through them and they were a great story. Yes they were the fairy tale story who only waited 3 weeks and got a phone call at 1:30am Christmas morning and went to pick up their healthy beautiful baby girl. I know that's not the norm and they openly admitted that but none the less it's nice to hear some of the brighter stories.
I don't know how to format this next part well so I will just bullet point in with facts and things we learned about the facilitator or adoption in general... (Our facilitator is AH)
-AH is a husband wife lawyer team. They are not a licensed agency but are instead a facilitator and approved with a A+ rating from the Better Business Bureua ( although if you look on there website one person did negatively review AH. Everyone has their own opinions. Ours thus far are positive)
-Last year there were 127 birth mothers working with them and 148 new clients. They have close to a 1-1 ratio. They try to keep their clients numbers under 150
- There average wait time is 6-12 months with most occurring in 6-8 months
- They only show profiles to birth moms after 6 months of pregnancy. In their experience this is an adequate amount of time where they feel the birth mom has thought out her decision of adoption a little more and therefore they have less likelihood of mind changing
- They do screening on all birth moms, pregnancy test, STD's screening, HIV screening, etc
- CA does not have a 30 day termination period as I have thought. The rules changed in 2009 and it is now 5pm the next day
- They help you make this awesome profile ( that we got to see examples of)
- 2 things that will drastically slow down your being matched is A) saying you can not pay any birth mothers expenses and B) choosing a gender. Why? Because 20% of b-moms know their having a boy, 20% know they are having a girl, 60% do not know. Therefore if you say we will only take a boy, your profile will only be shown to the 20% that are definitely having a boy.
- The case workers are huge supporters of the birth moms. They are there for them for a life time. While they are not counselors, they are an ear to listen. They help the b-mom arrange doctor appointments, how the birthing process will go ( adoptive family in the birthing room, whose first to hold the baby, who cuts the cord, etc) and stay in contact with her the whole way through.
- Birth fathers have a lot less rights then I realized and grandparents have no rights to oppose the adoption
- AH goal is to 100% be the median between the b-mom and adoptive family. They always do their best not to put you in a situation they see could be potentially negative
- You can freeze your account in Phase 1 if you happen to become pregnant or another circumstance
- Talked about home study and the fees
- Gave a honest overall estimate of the cost of adoption , not just including their fees but including everything from home study, to travel, to meals you eat in the hospital, to give you an honest estimate.
There was so much more we learned over the 3 hours that I can't even get close to telling you everything. But we left with a great feeling. The whole AH team was there which spoke a lot to us. The lawyer and head of AH was a really great guy and not once did we ever feel pressured to hurry and sign up before its to late. In fact we were encouraged to take the print out of questions to ask other places and interview at least 4-5 more before choosing. Hubby is the ever skeptic so the fact that he was impressed spoke mountains.
So now we just get filling out our paper work and get paper pregnant! Yesterday was just the renewed hope that we needed to carry on and know that this is what we are suppose to be doing!
Thanks for all the amazing support! Please continue to pray for us as we have A LOT of financial planning to do as well as praying for a quick matching process!
*** I would like to note I am not a lawyer or social worker or any sort of professional. All information was as I heard it and interpreted it. It is not written in stone nor is it the word of the law so please don't use what I say about adoption as I know no more than anyone else. Just learning and understanding to the best of my ability***
14 comments:
Everything sounds so promising!! I remember being in your footsteps and how exciting is was! Praying for a quick match and smooth adoption!
Melinda
Heather -
I have been "lurking" around your blog for a couple of months now, through a mutual friend of ours, Ashlyn. I just wanted to first let you know that I have been praying for you and your family every week since I happened upon your blog. The Lord IS faithful. Second - you have been a huge encourager to me, just from what I've read in your posts and through the other blogs I am following now (pretty much all through your blog). So THANK YOU. I know the Lord has BIG plans for you and your hubby and YOUR future child, whether it be from your own womb or from someone else's. You are doing an AMAZING thing and something that the Lord is very pleased with. Prayers and thoughts times a million go out to you from m
sounds like a great meeting and if you are comfortable sharing I would be curious to know the cost they told you. We have just gotten round about a lot of difference amount from agencies.
Im so happy for you and cant wait to share in your journey!
Sounds like a wonderful meeting. We'll be thinking of and praying for you as you continue your journey.
So glad everything went well and affirmed your decision!! I'm sooo excited to hear about the rest of your "paper pregnancy" - I love that!
Wow! How exciting! You sure got a lot of information at the meeting! So glad things went well!!
How exciting! I'm so glad the meeting was helpful. I've been thinking of you and praying for you the past couple of weeks. Still praying for financial provision for you and your hubby and for a baby!!! It's so exciting to feel that you've found a facilitator to work with. And fun to be able to picture who you are working with as we worked with them for those two weeks. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story as it unfolds. God's timing is perfect!
My email is amberwallace03@gmail.com
Would love the info!
this is awesome and encouraging news! can't wait for more information! how exciting for you both :)
Your post just made me so happy. I cant believe how great this is all sounding. It sounds like you learned allot and I cant imagine how excited you must be that you might have your little one in less then a year! I mean even if you were pg tomorrow you still have to wait 8 months! You guys are doing what God has told you is the right thing and I am just so happy for you. Keep the info coming!
This is so thrilling! I feel the excitement building and it comes across in your blog. Looking forward to learning more about the process with you. I was also a little stoked to hear about the change in the 30 day change your mind law in CA. That's a definitely plus!
I am so excited that you got so much good and hopeful information! I didn't know very much of that info, and it sounds like they are truly up front with adoptive families. Awesome! Cannot wait to hear how the process progresses, you paper-pregnant lady, you. ;)
Thanks for the sweet comment on my blog today! :)
Oh wow! That is so exciting! Such good news to hear.
Praying for you & your hubby!
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