Hubby and I had a really nice 4th. Mellow, but just how we wanted it. I went out in the morning with my best friend to the local street fair downtown and had a really nice time. I hadn't see her in so long and I was so happy when she called to see if I wanted to go downtown with her. Meanwhile hubby was back at home getting ready to go biking and watching the Tour de France. When we both got home we had some options of BBQ's and what not but decided to just stay home together and then around 8pm we went to the local high school to watch the fireworks. We found the perfect spot on the side of the road to lay out our blanket, eat ice cream, and watch the fireworks. It was for us, a wonderful night.
But the funny thing about the day was we BOTH felt empty. One expects holidays such as Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Christmas to be a little sad when your heart is yearning so much for a baby, but the 4th of July, you don't really expect it. But to us it was lonely. WE felt so sad without OUR family. We both have family obviously, and mine is 7 miles away, but we just felt so alone, like it was just the 2 of us, against the world...and it was sad. It was funny in a way, how WE both felt it that day. Not just me, not just him, US...together. And in the weirdest of ways it was a beautiful thing. To know that I have a man standing beside me whose heart is yearning just as much as mine to have a family and be a father is a beautiful thing. I know a lot of his emotions for the day was missing his family back home in Wisconsin. Everyone got together and he was the only one missing and I know on those days he feels a little sad, but that, on top of the fact that were still without a baby was overload for him.
We are so grateful to all our friends who invited us out to BBQ and hang out, but combined we just couldn't do it. Neither one of us was having a strong day so we did what we had to do for us, and that was be together just the two of us, dreaming about the day we will have a family of our own.
So that was pretty much our 4th of July. We did have a nice 5th of July with my family. My mom made her famous tacos and my small family went over their to enjoy tacos and apple pie ( hey it had to be somewhat American right ?:) We played boccie ball and just hung out for a while before calling it a night.
On the plus side of things we sign papers this Friday but that's a whole other post! So happy Monday to all hope you had a wonderful weekend I am off to get my air conditioner in my car fixed. It waited until summer to break! Thanks!
But the funny thing about the day was we BOTH felt empty. One expects holidays such as Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Christmas to be a little sad when your heart is yearning so much for a baby, but the 4th of July, you don't really expect it. But to us it was lonely. WE felt so sad without OUR family. We both have family obviously, and mine is 7 miles away, but we just felt so alone, like it was just the 2 of us, against the world...and it was sad. It was funny in a way, how WE both felt it that day. Not just me, not just him, US...together. And in the weirdest of ways it was a beautiful thing. To know that I have a man standing beside me whose heart is yearning just as much as mine to have a family and be a father is a beautiful thing. I know a lot of his emotions for the day was missing his family back home in Wisconsin. Everyone got together and he was the only one missing and I know on those days he feels a little sad, but that, on top of the fact that were still without a baby was overload for him.
We are so grateful to all our friends who invited us out to BBQ and hang out, but combined we just couldn't do it. Neither one of us was having a strong day so we did what we had to do for us, and that was be together just the two of us, dreaming about the day we will have a family of our own.
So that was pretty much our 4th of July. We did have a nice 5th of July with my family. My mom made her famous tacos and my small family went over their to enjoy tacos and apple pie ( hey it had to be somewhat American right ?:) We played boccie ball and just hung out for a while before calling it a night.
On the plus side of things we sign papers this Friday but that's a whole other post! So happy Monday to all hope you had a wonderful weekend I am off to get my air conditioner in my car fixed. It waited until summer to break! Thanks!
6 comments:
I hear you about feeling lonely that day. I was sitting on my mother-in-laws deck watching fireworks on the lake and I felt really empty. I got kind of sappy and depressed. I know hubby was having a bad a day too. It is strange how being childless effects every holiday.
I hope your adoption process is going as smooth as it can!
Oh, sweetie, holidays can be so tough, can't they? I'm so sorry. I felt the same way as I went to bed early (9-ish) and I thought if I had a child, I wouldn't be going to bed so early and we'd be watching the fireworks. It is hard. I'm thinking of you sweetie!!
It sounds like you two had a great 4th!
I'm excited to read your next post about the adoption.
Praying everything goes smoothly!
Sorry to hear your holiday was hard. I'm glad you had a somewhat good one though aside from that.
I'm excited to hear about the adoption news.
Ugh, I vividly remember the feelings of loneliness on holidays or other "family outing festivities. There's nothing more that I can say, other than, I have been there and I understand that. It sucks. I'm glad you have your DH to lean on. It will bring you both even closer, especially when you are blessed with your little one. Yay to signing papers on Friday!!
Hey, for what it's worth Vince and Kelly missed it too. ;)
But I hear you -- empty is empty. I'm sorry you had a tough day.
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